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I’m really excited to share this new Mastery Session with you as it’s all about developing children of high integrity, deep ingenuity and strong leadership capability.
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Hi this is Robin Sharma, the author of The Leader Who Had No Title, founder of the Titan Academy. I’m really delighted that you’re here with me in this Mastery Session. I’m a father and I don’t know if you have children, but this Mastery Session is all about a message to our children.
We all know the old idea, which is: It takes a village to raise a child. We all know the importance of family and connecting with our loved ones. We all know the importance of being authentic and vulnerable and human beings with the people we love the most. We all know the value of spending time with our children.
I believe that you get a little window of opportunity with children. Once your children grow up and go off to live lives of their own, that window of opportunity closes. If you haven’t used that window of opportunity to share your values. To enjoy perfect moments with them. To not only be their parents, but to cultivate their inner leaders. If you haven’t used this window of opportunity with your children to take them to great art galleries and expose them to inspirational models and to do fascinating things with them, I think there’s a great chance that even if you’ve been really successful in business and really successful in society, there will be a certain amount of angst within your heart that you’re going to carry with you through the rest of your life.
Today could be the first day of a new way of living when it comes to how you interact with your beloved children. If I’m able to do that for you, I’ll feel really fulfilled as a result of this Mastery Session. May I offer you with great respect and love, some messages we can all give to our children.
The first would simply be this: You have what it takes, do what it takes to live your best. Every child is born into innocence. Every child is born into their own unique form of genius. Here’s a really disruptive but powerful idea: every single child on the planet today has one thing that they can be the best in the world at.
The first message you can give to your child, or your children, is that they have genius within them and help them believe in themselves. Help them understand the magnitude of their potential. Then you do your part as a parent to cultivate it and kindle it so that fire of genius grows every day.
The second message you can give your children on a regular if not daily basis, because your messaging, your words, your example, that’s what’s installing their core beliefs. Their daily behaviors are simply going to be a function of the beliefs that you install within them. You want to really remember that those little eyes are watching everything you’re doing. They’re watching everything you’re saying and the best way to influence your children is to be the leader and the human being that you want your children to be.
The second message to give to them then is simply this: Failure is only failure if you choose to see it as a failure. If they stumble and if they fall, help them understand that that is how they learn to walk. If they’re in grade five and they come back with a C or a D or even an F, the tendency is to really give them that conditional love but say to them, “I love you, but how can you make it better next time.” Failure is only a failure if you see it as a failure. Help them hardwire a belief which is to be relentless in every single thing that they do.
The third message to give them which is this: It doesn’t matter about fitting in, it matters more about liking yourself. I know I’m talking about children here but you can find your own languaging that’s going to fit for the age of your child.
I think it’s an incredible, important message to give to your children though which is, be yourself everyone else is taken, to use Oscar Wilde’s words. There will never be a better you than you, to use Warren Buffet’s words. It is so fundamentally important for children to receive messaging from us that they’re okay.
Actually they’re better than okay, they’re awesome. They’re brilliant. What makes our children so special and actually walking, talking miracles, is that they’re unique. There’s no one else quite like them living on the planet today. Our messaging and our encouragement and our validation can simply be, you don’t have to be like the great athletes at school. You don’t have to be like the A students if you’re a B student, because you know what? A lot of great entrepreneurs and a lot of the most successful people on the planet really weren’t designed to do well in school.
My point simply is the third message, help your kids feel comfortable in their own skin. What a gift you can give your children, through your languaging, and like I suggested, through your example. Your children will be a lot more like you, the fruit never falls far from the tree. If you are insecure, and if your whole life is designed to look good in society and if you’re not really very authentic, you’re going to get children who are really scared to bravely stand in their own original nature when they go out in the world themselves.
What else? I think the next message: Stand for excellence. Excellence and mastery and world-class. Those are beautiful values to give to a child, like using good words, eating great food, reading great books, having interesting conversations, being in nature.
I still remember JFK’s father used to bring home interesting world leaders and icons. They would sit around the table and the Kennedy kids would ask them questions. The Kennedy kids were not told, “Go to sleep now,” or, “Go watch TV.” They sat around the table and asked questions of these world leaders. One of the things I’ve gotten right with my children, often, I’ve had an NBA superstar around our dinner table, I have had interesting artists around our dinner table, I’ve had business billionaires that I am the personal advisor to or people who come to The Titan Summit which I run every year come to our home. My loved ones are there, and my children are asking questions and that forms their philosophy. It imprints so many examples in their way of operating. I think it’s so important that we instill the values of excellence and world-class in our children, through the messages that we offer them.
The final thing I would say is more than anything else, is encouraging our children to see the value of being loving, compassionate, forgiving and kind. We live in a world right now where we don’t really hear so much about kindness. Where we sometimes dismiss the compassionate as weak, when deep in our hearts and deep within our characters we fully understand that the bravest and most heroic amongst us are the most loving. It takes massive guts, incredible strength of character to forgive, to be a peacemaker, to build understanding where the average person judges someone. Just imagine if you’re in some kind of conflict, do you know how powerful it is, how strong you are rather than being angry at someone or bitter or resentful or closing, you actually open up and you actually try to understand them. Encourage your children. Give them the messaging and more than anything else live it through your example. To be kind. To be loving. To be polite to strangers on the street. If they can be helpful to anyone to do it, because if you have an opportunity to uplift even a single life, your week or your month or your decade has been worth it.
If you can do that for your kids so that they rise into their loving nature, they’re not only going to live great lives where they influence other people, they’re going to become great examples of leadership and humanity, but more than anything else, they’re going to respect themselves and that’s what true success is all about. Thank you so much for being with me in this Mastery Session. I wish you and your families magical times, great success, great health, tremendous laughter, long meals where you’re enjoying each other’s company and fascinating times. Thanks, I’ll talk you in the next Mastery Session.